Tomorrow, at 6am, I am heading to Asia. Luggage wise, I am set to go. But I am not so enthusiastic about waking up at 2:45AM to get ready.
I am currently a walking ball of nervous energy intertwined with excitement. The nervous energy is coming from an invisible self-doubt of how I will handle myself in a new place, new culture, new people, new everything. Although cerebrally, I know that I will be fine, that nervousness is still there. It was there when I travelled to Switzerland, France and England. It was also there when I went to Uganda. And that old friend is here again. At least I know two things: that it is not dependent on location and that it dissipates once I land and start to walk around. Perhaps as a conscious effort to get rid of it as fast as I can, when I first land in a new place, the first thing that I do is walk the streets and start to make heads or tails of how everything works. Normally, within hours, as I get an understanding of my temporary new home, the nervous energy translates to elation.
I am currently also excited for the experience that I am about to embark on, the sights, the memories, the friendships, etc. Also, I have noticed that I am a completely different beast when I am abroad. For some reasons, I am not myself in the US. That even translates to my interactions with friends I made abroad. Those that I have met while abroad and re-united in the US see a different, more jovial and patient Phong. In the US, the longer I stay, the more I feel as if my emotional well-being, mental strength and happiness are slowly getting depleted. Strange!
May be I need to travel more.